Reef! Versus! Barney!
by Autumn Thunder
Summary: A random short I did. The Great Barrier Reef takes on Barney the dinosaur. A sequel to Elrond's fic.


The evening news on the Great Barrier Reef always seemed to be tranquil and predictable -- BREAKING NEWS!! New speed bumps installed!! -- Or something of the like. There were no mass murders, homicide, or war...well, at least not the first two. The last of the three, war...there was one case of war...and that''s what this documentary focuses on.  
  
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Nemo, Marlin, and Dory just came back from the strangest FEA meeting ever -- meeting a strange violet and potentially dangerous creature known only as a "Barney". News didn't reach the Great Barrier Reef of this new discovery until it was too late.  
  
There were plenty of advanced warnings, however.  
  
"What is that?" asked one of the officials.  
  
"We don't know. Sondar isn't getting anything but shroud all over." Said another.  
  
"What could it be?"  
  
"Well, we''ll soon find out. The shroud is moving."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"How long?"  
  
"At least fifteen minutes."  
  
The TV screen flickered off as Nemo woke up Marlin and Dory, who saw a terrifying sight -- an ominous shadow over the once peaceful Great Barrier Reef. Several of his neighbours, including Sandy Plankton, looked in awe, fright, and disbelief. A large purple dinosaur. The item behind the shroud has now been revealed -- Barney has returned!!  
  
""RUN!! IT''S BARNEY!!"" shouted a fish. The ""Barney"" started walking over all the reef houses with ease, eagerly looking for some cute, cuddly fish to hug. Everytime it stomped the Reef into submission, several identical smaller Barneys appeared at its feet. These began terrorizing the Reef population with their insane songs, killer death-hugs, and laser beam eyes. The Reef military counterattacked with swift submarines.  
  
"Grey two, target locked!" A submarine came about; torpedo tubes prepped and ready to lodge a torpedo or two at the large Barney.  
  
"We're cleared to engage the enemy! Fire at will! Fire at will!"  
  
The submarine released two sondar guided torpedoes at Barney. Several other submarines appeared along with it and fired at the same time. Barney blinked, then smiled. Barney flipped the torpedoes up and started hugging them and started singing:  
  
"I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME!! WE''RE A HAPPY FAMILY..."  
  
Immediately the torpedoes found themselves a new target. Before long, the Australian Reef Military Force found themselves attacked by their own torpedoes.

"Grey 2! Going down! Going down!!"  
  
Marlin looked up and saw a huge submarine topple on top of where his family was taking refuge. The ARMF, or Australian Reef Military Force, was trying to usher the families into various caves, but the Barneys were winning.  
  
"Hey look!" shouted Dory. "A big, huge, ugly, fat purple dinosaur that's killing everything mercilessly, destroying the military, and murdering tons of fish! Let's say 'Hi' to it!"  
  
"Dory, NO!" shouted Marlin.  
  
The ARMF member who was ushering Marlin and Nemo looked in awe. One fish looking at a huge, ugly, fat, evil dinosaur bent on destroying the world as they knew it. The Barney opened its eyes and shot two blue narrow laser beams at a piece of coral, barely missing Dory. The coral hit the floor of the reef, sending many fish in disarray.  
  
"My hair! He cut my hair!" shouted Dory. She turned on the Barney. She looked at the ARMF member, then at a submarine still fighting. "The NERVE...!" she shouted. She swam up to the submarine, earning a "what the...?!" from the crewman. She tossed him out, closed the door, and loaded all the forward torpedoes.  
  
She piloted the craft right up to Barney''s huge eye. She had a look of determination, hatred, and anger.  
  
""NO...!"" the Barney shouted.  
  
Cock cock, whirr....  
  
A flash of light showed Dory was pounding Barney again and again with a fifty-calibre machine gun mounted on the submarine in the eye. Barney attempted to cover its eye, but Dory had armed the aft torpedo tubes and shot a huge volley of torpedoes at Barney''s arm, effectively disabling it.  
  
"Aft...torpedoes...more...friends...!" the Barney said. It fell to the floor with a resounding thud.  
  
"For..." Dory said.  
  
"Uh oh, you got her ticked..." warned Marlin.  
  
"The..." Dory continued...  
  
"Eh, now they're in for it!" added Nemo.  


"CHEESE!!!!!!"" Dory shouted, finishing her phrase. Right afterwards a huge volley of sixteen some torpedoes rudely smashed themselves into Barney''s gigantic eye.  
  
"Now they''re REALLY in for it!!"  
  
The water around Dory glowed as she started charging up a spell.  
  
"It''s time to kick some giant butt," she said under her breath. The water around her started swirling in a circle, faster and faster, coupled with the strange green light around her. A small blue ball formed in her fin. It grew and grew until it became about the size of a football. Then she shouted one word:  
  
"HADOKEN!!!!"  


The resulting explosion could have destroyed the entire reef if Dory somehow managed to remember how to focus the powerful blast of thirty-eight thousand nuclear weapons into three square centimetres.

And then, the Barney was no more.  
  
That was the only event on the Great Barrier Reef that was close to war. Afterwards, after a massive cleanup of what remained of the Barney and of the destroyed waters, life on the Great Barrier Reef continued on as it always did.  
  
And to Dory's surprise, Marlin was looking at her differently. Nemo noticed how hard he tried avoiding her to being upset, and whenever she was close to getting upset, he told Nemo to go into the bomb shelter they made of the cave until Dory cooled down. 


End file.
